Archetypal Exploration: Felina's 7th House- Saboteur

The 7th House relates to marriage and partnerships of all types. In this house, I have a Scorpio conjunction of Ceres retrograde and my Moon, as well as Uranus retrograde in Sagittarius. Ceres is the asteroid of the mother, while the Moon is the luminary that represents the mother (as well as emotions and habits). In Scorpio, this concentrated maternal energy can be quite intense...but, again, with the Ceres retrograde much of the scrutiny is directed within. However, the Moon in Scorpio shows my habits and emotions can be both destructive and transformative (like the Hindu Mother Goddess, Kali). And with Uranus in Sagittarius here, the Liberator energy carries over from the 6th to the 7th.

But this is the house where the Saboteur archetype influences me most. Another of the survival archetypes we all must embrace and learn from in how they influence our own lives, the Saboteur is the Guardian of Choice. Saboteur alerts us to the dangers of sabotaging others as well as ourselves...and gives us the choice of self-empowerment or self-destruction. In recent years, the Saboteur has become an ally in this way. But this was not always the case. I would often ignore the warning signs that I was about to sabotage any given situation with a fight or flight response that rarely served my best interests (really only serving my fears). Relationships were the breeding grounds for these lessons in my life. I would first sabotage myself by taking on the habits and emotions (Moon) of whomever I was with, while nurturing each partner's ego no matter how it affected me (Ceres). It often left me bitter by the end of those fallen relationships...my care was too intensive, and could rarely be equaled in a partnership. I was like a disappointed mother to them...always giving too much and wanting more. That was my Shadow Saboteur at work, destroying that which I put all my time and energy into creating because I was making disempowering choices.

I learned, somewhat. Still learning, I guess. Because I still sabotage my own goals in life to help others work on theirs. But I'm aware of it now, at least. It makes the choices and changes I make a bit easier. Setting boundaries when working with others is a change I've been gradually implementing in my relationships since I've noticed how beneficial it is to relationship maintenance.

When I met my husband, Michael, for the first time...both of our Saboteurs (he also has his in the 7th) gave us the gut instinct that we could be happy together, but we ignored it out of fear as well as doubt. Years later, fate crossed our paths again...and we realized there was something, but our current situations held us hostage and convinced us we could only be friends. As time went by...he became the best friend I could ever have. And after both of us learned many hard lessons in our previous relationships, we found ourselves ready for each other. The Saboteur became our ally, and we recognized what was best for both of us...releasing the past, embracing a more empowering future.

Saboteur

By Felina Lune Kavi

Kali…

Destroyer of maya,

Annihilator of ignorance…

Dismember me in the shadows.

Release me from samsara;

Devour time.

I am…

A hand on your hip,

A head on your breast…

Fear not the fierce creatrix

Who absorbs all darkness

To birth the light.