Archetypal Exploration: Felina's 7th House- Saboteur

The 7th House relates to marriage and partnerships of all types. In this house, I have a Scorpio conjunction of Ceres retrograde and my Moon, as well as Uranus retrograde in Sagittarius. Ceres is the asteroid of the mother, while the Moon is the luminary that represents the mother (as well as emotions and habits). In Scorpio, this concentrated maternal energy can be quite intense...but, again, with the Ceres retrograde much of the scrutiny is directed within. However, the Moon in Scorpio shows my habits and emotions can be both destructive and transformative (like the Hindu Mother Goddess, Kali). And with Uranus in Sagittarius here, the Liberator energy carries over from the 6th to the 7th.

But this is the house where the Saboteur archetype influences me most. Another of the survival archetypes we all must embrace and learn from in how they influence our own lives, the Saboteur is the Guardian of Choice. Saboteur alerts us to the dangers of sabotaging others as well as ourselves...and gives us the choice of self-empowerment or self-destruction. In recent years, the Saboteur has become an ally in this way. But this was not always the case. I would often ignore the warning signs that I was about to sabotage any given situation with a fight or flight response that rarely served my best interests (really only serving my fears). Relationships were the breeding grounds for these lessons in my life. I would first sabotage myself by taking on the habits and emotions (Moon) of whomever I was with, while nurturing each partner's ego no matter how it affected me (Ceres). It often left me bitter by the end of those fallen relationships...my care was too intensive, and could rarely be equaled in a partnership. I was like a disappointed mother to them...always giving too much and wanting more. That was my Shadow Saboteur at work, destroying that which I put all my time and energy into creating because I was making disempowering choices.

I learned, somewhat. Still learning, I guess. Because I still sabotage my own goals in life to help others work on theirs. But I'm aware of it now, at least. It makes the choices and changes I make a bit easier. Setting boundaries when working with others is a change I've been gradually implementing in my relationships since I've noticed how beneficial it is to relationship maintenance.

When I met my husband, Michael, for the first time...both of our Saboteurs (he also has his in the 7th) gave us the gut instinct that we could be happy together, but we ignored it out of fear as well as doubt. Years later, fate crossed our paths again...and we realized there was something, but our current situations held us hostage and convinced us we could only be friends. As time went by...he became the best friend I could ever have. And after both of us learned many hard lessons in our previous relationships, we found ourselves ready for each other. The Saboteur became our ally, and we recognized what was best for both of us...releasing the past, embracing a more empowering future.

Saboteur

By Felina Lune Kavi

Kali…

Destroyer of maya,

Annihilator of ignorance…

Dismember me in the shadows.

Release me from samsara;

Devour time.

I am…

A hand on your hip,

A head on your breast…

Fear not the fierce creatrix

Who absorbs all darkness

To birth the light.

Archetypal Exploration: Felina's 5th House- Prostitute

The Fifth House of Astrology is about creativity, children, romance, good fortune, and speculative ventures. Psyche is in Retrograde in my 5th house, pulling this energy inward...a Goddess within. My Prostitute archetype also resides in this house. Another one of the Survival archetypes that plays a crucial role in the soul's journey, all of us learn the Prostitute's lesson of integrity in various ways. This Fifth House area of life is where I learned to have faith in myself, the Goddess within, and the God that connects us all to Her. Caroline Myss, in her book 'Sacred Contracts', calls the Prostitute archetype our "Guardian of Faith." I recommend this book if you like to read...and if you're reading this, you probably do. Caroline Myss goes on to explain the healing challenge contained within the lesson of the fifth house is like 'entering the desert'. She compares it to "the Dark Night of the soul described by mystics...you are no longer receiving energy from the world you have left behind, but you also have not yet established a flow of energy from the next stage of your life. That period of aridity--the desert--can be exhausting and depressing as you symbolically thirst for God."

I walked this desert before, and I learned that lesson. It's a lesson of how much of yourself (body, mind, and soul) you are willing to give up for physical security. When Alyrica was born, I tried to stay with her father so her idea of family wouldn't be broken...even though our relationship was no longer good for any of us. I had to find faith in myself, after she was born, that I could create the family she needs. I became empowered again, and detached from the life that had once fearfully held me back from my own authority. In that lesson, I had the good fortune of finding that Michael was the man I'm meant to be with forever. And in that experience, I found God...connecting eternally to the Goddess within.

So for this Mercury Retrograde's Archetypal Exploration, I'm honoring the Prostitute archetype as well as Psyche and Eros. A strange combination, at first glance, but it is my life I'm dissecting here. I'm compelled to discover deeper meanings than what appears on the surface. In other words, look beyond what we know of prostitutes and discover the crisis of faith and loss of integrity that they represent. This archetype has become an ally in guiding me through the path of my own power, alerting me to the warning signs of compromising my values for breakable promises of physical security. With awareness, I hope you can see how this archetype can be an ally to your own life...coming out from the shadows to show you the meaning of faith, however it pertains to your own spiritual path.

Interesting, perhaps only to me, is that today Mercury Retrogrades through the degree where my 5th House begins. I didn't plan it, but my Psyche's own retrograde must have been working in synch with Mercury's retrograde transit. The sabian symbol for Leo 23 is 'A bareback rider'. So I guess I'm going to keep boldly riding on the path I've ridden, but never written, before.

Prostitute

by Felina Lune Kavi

Down the street where she sold herself,

she walks in scuffed-up heels...

balancing the new weight of change,

forgetting how she might look so strange,

discovering how she truly feels.

In daytime, this journey is a hardened desert;

the dark nights she knew have passed...

clicks along concrete the only sound,

echoing off hotels and offices all around.

Then a moment's peace at last.

Her baby kicks inside her womb,

announcing why she's here...

there's no more security in what she's done,

she steps forward into maturity for this little one.

It's time to get rid of fear.

Facing the trash can on this familiar corner,

she kicks off those tired shoes...

she throws them away with all of that pain,

away with that emptiness and all of that shame.

Her soul has been renewed.

The New Wings of Psyche

by Felina Lune Kavi

The creative key to the soul is in passwords:

you say 'harm none' and 'love always' with true meaning...

and harmonious expression explodes into Psyche,

her spiritual faith unfolds into wings,

and she ascends with Eros

in ecstasy of love eternal...creating bliss.

Eros in January

by Felina Lune Kavi

It's cold here tonight...
wrap me warm in your skin,
lock me up in your sight,
hold me close and breathe in...
and out.

Outside in the dark...
a new moon on the rise.
We are lost under stars
in the most beautiful sky.

Eros in January,
you touch the soul within me.
Eros in January,
fast as love flies through you and me.

Our hearts beat whole at last,
in the wake of our dreams.
I'm too in love to ask,
is this really what it seems...
to be?

Beyond what we believed
of what love ever meant,
this love is all we need
to know our soul's full intent.

Eros in January,
you touch the soul within me.
Eros in January,
fast as love flies through you and me.